Thursday, August 31, 2006


Pump, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

New pictures up at Flickr!


Weathered Boards, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

Playing with texture.


Barbed Wire, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

Playing with texture.

Peace


Two days of relaxing and talking with friends about the crap that's been bothering me. Knowing that who people care about me read this blog and then forcing me out of the house to be social.

Visiting with very young children, carrying them around until it feels as though my arms are going to fall off.

Knitting again, and getting into knitting flow headspace, where I don't think about my fingers moving and they just do, creating something out of nothing. Having my work appreciated. Teaching someone how to turn a piece of string into a piece of fabric.

Coming home to a space that has space, and is beautiful. Realizing that I made my bed this morning, totally unconsciously because if it was messy it interfered with my room.

My brain has been unkinked, smoothed out. It's like having a giant knot loosened, and then have it just fall softly apart.

Magic.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I Can Only Wish I Had Junk in the Trunk


Instead, possibly because of the superosity of cleaninganity which I succumbified to today (and the last several days, but who's counting? Er...I mean, countingidity...) I have gunk feel in my eye. I can't actually see anything in there and my vision is fine, but it feels gunky. Bleah. (I have no idea where all the distoritifying of the English language thingisms came from. I blameify the eyedropicanas.)

I had a great evening with Gwynabella tonight, despite us being exhausted. I discovered a fellow lover of the European smorgasborg meal...mmm...four types of cheese, smoked oysters, several spreads and meats, crackers and hard boiled eggs. This is also known as "The Meal Dave Will Fall Over and Die Before Eating"...or pretty close to it. Also known as "Exaggerated for Comic Effect". Gwyn was kind enough to chat with me about some of those amazingly irritating things that I've been dealing with over the last few days. Tomorrow, I'll be visiting with beverly_sutphin and her kids...which will also destress me. Hurray!

Breathing and Dreams


I had a very disturbing dream last night...not too unusual. It was about teaching. Also, not too unusual. It was about trying to break up a pedophile ring while brainwashed students and the evil teacher/counsellors got into my car and stalked me and tried to kill me? More unusual.

Last night I decided to go off the steroids because I was worried about side effects (no, I didn't talk to a doctor. Yes, I know that's stupid. Shut up, I don't want to hear it.). This morning, I talked to Dave and he (and the fact that I'd started coughing again) convinced me that I ought to go back on them.

So I did. And my breathing feels better.

The end.

And the moral of this story is that doctors maybe know what they're talking about. With their fancy "medical degrees" and all.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Angst Central


*looks up at the URL entry field*

Huh...looks like this is still a blogspot site and it isn't actually a LiveJournal *. What's up with all the angst, then? I blame the steroids**. That's right...I'm suffering from 'roid rage. This seems to be manifesting itself in mild irritation for everything, ranting blog posts at two in the morning, anti-social tendencies and hyper-efficiency at getting to-do lists done.

Geez, except for the last one, it kind of sounds like me on a regular basis.

I'm not even in a bad mood right now, but I haven't taken my steroids yet...will report back later.

*stereotypical angst ridden teenage written LJ...not the cool ones that my friends have.
**for those of you just tuning in, I'm taking inhalable steroids for asthma and other lung/broncial tube issues. Wrong kind for performance enhancement.

Feeling Ranty This Evening


I have two major pet peeves. The first is when I'm treated like a child or otherwise incapable of something, especially something simple. The other is unsolicited advice, which kind of falls under the same category for me.

This rant brought to you by people reminding me to take my medication!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!! I'VE BEEN TAKING DAILY PERSCRIPTIONS FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!

*pant wheeze huff*

Oddly, this is annoying me despite the fact that no one has mentioned it in the last few weeks. I guess my inhalers just aren't important enough to be reminded about. So why am I so irritated?

GOD, I've been moody the last week or so.

No, I'm not PMSing. And if anyone gives me any advice in the comments, seriously, I will come after you.

Holy crap...where is all of this COMING from??? Oh, I know what at least part of the problem is...my room has been torn apart and the space that I thought was going to be there may not be quite as big as I'd hoped. *grumble* Which means that that part of my room might be totally useless for what I had planned. Useless=bad. Useless after several dozen hours of cleaning and reorganizing=homicidal bad.

Oh man...I've gotta get applications done tomorrow. *cries* That's it. I'm going back to working in retail.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Testing the t's


test...test...

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

ahhhh...much better. that was really weird.

revelling in the ability to type non-capital t's and other letters...i know they're called lowercase, but there is a complete dearth of t's in lowercase. there is an s though, and the s's were rebelling also. therefore, it has been proven for right now that the t's are in submission. as are the rest of the naughty letters.

don't know what i'm talking about? the entry under this one will fill you in.

Must think of the good...must think of the good!


Hello...feeling crappy again today. What the heck has this journal turned into? I oug...um, uddenly my keyboard i only aeping eain keyroke ...elp!!

abdefgijklmnopqruwxyz 1234567890
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUWXYZ !@#$%^&*()

wHaT'S Happening? Some keyS work wiTH only CapiTalS. oTHerS don'T work aT all. I Had an iSSue wiTH a SCreen reader program Suddenly opening wHen I HiT a buTTon aCCidenTally wiTH my long (To me) fingernailS.

I THink I'll reSTarT and See if THaT HelpS...beCauSe I don'T feel like Typing like THiS...wonder if a WP program will work...

Ah…good. It works over here, so I’ll just type here instead of there and copy/paste it all.

How irritating. I actually don’t feel like blogging anymore. :P Ok, I’m gonna see if I can fix this…

Ooh...Blogger Beta


I got the option to sign into Blogger Beta just now...but it's not looking much different. Maybe it changed its mind.

I'm feeling guilty right now. I feel like I'm a really crappy friend...and I'm a little worried about talking to the people whom I feel I've let down. Generally speaking, I like to think I'm the kind of person who will drive a couple hours and come see you if you need me to. Maybe that's why I'm feeling extra guilty right now. Incidentally, NO ONE has made me feel this way except for myself.

Could someone please tell me that I'm allowed to take care of myself first? I'm so exhausted all the time...I just can't deal with leaving the house some days or talking to anyone who isn't in the computer. Hell...some days I can't even deal with the people in the computer and I have to go take a nap.

See, now I feel like I'm just feeling sorry for myself and that I should suck it up, princess. Grr.

Anyway, this is a public apology, and I promise I'll talk to the people I'm meaning tomorrow...but I just feel like I suck right now and am very depressed.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Zero Motivation


I'm having trouble doing anything these days...at least, that's the way I'm feeling. It's really weird though, because I am actually doing these things I that I need to be doing. I'm almost compulsively cleaning my room and in my humble opinion, it's almost ready to be organized. (I gots PLANS baby...) I got really angry last night at the waste of space in here. Ideally, I'd like to pull every single thing out of my room, including from the closet, and slowly bring stuff in that deserves to be here...but unfortunately that's just not feasible.

At least I don't think it is...

Dave? Is it?

That's the way that I plan on moving out. Since I'm leaving from home, I've got the luxury of moving just my big pieces of furniture and then moving them all around everywhere in the new place to figure out where best they go, and then shifting over some of the other stuff, sorting one bit at a time. This pleases me.

Now, I am surprisingly articulate for someone who just woke up (sickness SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS) and hasn't eaten or consumed any caffinated items.

Happy Money.


Hm. Turns out I'm not going to be getting 10 shares cashed in at $44 USD after all.

Nope...I'm going to be getting almost 30 shares at $44 USD...that's about $1400 CND. Finally...some money heads my way. Now hopefully the thing that usually happens when I get some money doesn't happen, and since my car just got the brakes done, with any luck that's all of the repairs that will need to be done.

Friday, August 25, 2006

PISSED OFF. AND HAPPY!


SOME EXPLANATIONS OF THE PREVIOUS POST

Apparently muscle and joint pain is a potential side effect of fluticasone aka the not-purple inhaler. OW. I just about collapsed when I stood up from the table because my butt muscles and my hips were so sore. Waaaaaahhhhhh!

However, I got a letter from Michaels craft store. Apparently the place underwent new ownership and they're buying out all of their stockholders at $44 a share. I think I wound up with 12 or so shares while I was working there, so I'll be getting a cool $500 bucks or so. Ooh. That's US money too.

Next, I'm generally annoyed...I got a letter from one of my school board application people saying that I'm missing part of my application package. It's IN. DAMMIT.

BUT! I heard through the grapevine (generally a less than accurate source, but I can tell you the exact filter...but I won't, because I've got to protect my sources.[You have no idea how much restraint it took for me to not link to my source...s/he can reveal him/herself in the comments if s/he wishes]) different school board is going to be hiring a bunch of TOCs (teachers on call) which means I might get hired there. This is good.

Then, blah. I'm taking some stuff too personally...it really doesn't have anything to do with me. But I'm still irritated. And I don't want to get into it.

Hooray though! I managed to pare down my list of things I need to do some more, and I registered for Thursday night karate at Queensborough Community Centre.

Here are the details...it's a REALLY good deal and I can vouch for the quality of instruction.

Thursdays Sept 21-Oct 27 (six of 'em unless I miss my guess)
730-900 pm
Queensborough Community Centre
Call 604-525-7388 to register

Map is here.

I registered for two modules of it (another six week course starting November 10th I think) and it was only $45. That's INSANE...just to let you know. Most martial arts places charge about fifty bucks a month.

For more information, call/email the rec centre, email Adam-sensei at adamnicholson (at) shintokukai (dot) com, or email/IM/call me. My info (minus phone number) is on the sidebar.

Grrrr...and WHEE!


I am very, VERY irritated.

And really happy!

And so frustrated!!

And rather pleased with myself! :D

And every so very grumpy.

And feeling groovy...da da da da daaaa da...feeling groovy...

*grumble snarl WHEE yahoo!!*

Aaaaaand now all this mood swinging is making my dizzy. What a fun day THIS is turning out to be.

Giant Loophole of Ultimate Doom


Whoa. How much do you want to bet that Focus on the Family will be changing their policies after THIS has gotten around??

Yeah, sorry...boring list


There's a couple of actual posts below the list.

-finish applying for BCCT membership and TQS card
-finish applying to a multitude of school boards
-finish cleaning my #$#()#ing room
-help my mom organize our basement (I'm being bribed with the possibility of moving the sewing machine and serger into the room next to mine... GLEE!)
-burn DVDs of stuff my computer has recorded. (Two down, many to go.)
-get rid of 50% of the stuff I own that isn't craft stuff. (Living in the same house for nearly 27 years means a hella lot of build up. :P)
-find school library book
-photocopy stuff that my sponsor teacher loaned me (for that purpose)
-find stuff that belongs to my sponsor teacher and sponsor school that I forgot to give back
-register for karate at the rec centre
-remember to post about karate at the rec centre

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Ok, so.


Being sick sucks. Being sick and not knowing what or why or if you're sick, sucks really hard. When I went to the doctor on Monday, she sent me home with a very strong perscription of antibiotics, to be filled if I needed them because I got much worse. So far, I haven't needed to fill it, but it's waiting patiently for me at the Burnaby Costco. Lurking...in the shadows...

Ahem.

I also received, as complained about yesterday, two inhalers. So far I've only needed the orange (not purple, DAMMIT) one, which I'm supposed to take every twelve hours until it's gone. It's a powder, which I've never had before. There seems to be a bit of a learning curve with it, or else I'm just naturally inhaler-stupid. So far out of the six times I've used it, I've hit my tongue twice, the back of my tongue once, the roof of my mouth once and the back of my throat twice. Thank all gods that it doesn't taste like anything... I'm pretty sure at least a little of it made it down into my lungs each time, since as soon as I let out the breath I've had to hold for ten seconds, my breathing is SO CLEAR that I can't really believe it. It's the oddest thing. Pre-powder, I don't feel as though I'm short of breath at all, but once I suck that stuff back everything clears up and suddenly oxygen is reaching my brain in a way that I don't think it has been for a month or so. (insert your own punchline in the comments...)

In addition to the inhale-able drugs and potential swallow-able drugs, the doctor sent me to the vampires. I casually mentioned that I've been sleeping roughly 14 hours a day for the last month and she stopped and stared at me. "That's not normal. I'm sending you for bloodwork." Sweet. I always knew I wasn't normal. Oh, wait...I went for a physical, not a mental. So the vampires took a piddling (er...bad choice of words...it wasn't THAT kind of test) measly two vials of blood in order to test for (lack of) white blood cells, and also to check my thyroid. You know...since all the cool kids are on thyroid medication. It was really nice to have a doctor take me seriously about a) how often I am sick (three weeks on, three weeks off, for over a year) and b) how tired I am all the time.

What other things about my health? Ummm...I think that might actually be it. Oh, one more thing. I mentioned my dizzy episodes and that my mom gets them too, and she's sending me to an ear, nose and throat specialist. This surprised me a bit...I didn't realize that they were still around, although I don't/didn't have any basis for that assumption.

IN OTHER NEWS:
My list of things to do is shrinking crazy lots.

I've been ensuring that I do at least one category every day, usually multiple things.

I'm being stalked by ravens...two raven related dreams in a week, then a raven hanging out at Dave's place, and now I'm hearing one near my place. And YES, the dreams happened BEFORE the real ones. I'm not so daft that I couldn't make the connection between real life popping up in my dreams. (although I haven't actually had a raven dream since the real ones arrived. Very odd.)

I'm seeing people I haven't seen for a while and they're all noticing that I've lost a lot of weight...officially, it looks like nearly twenty pounds since February (about six months). The holidays are coming (sort of...shut up. I was in Michaels the other day and their Christmas stuff is up. I get sucked into those kind of timewarps when I go there. [It was so bad when I was working there. Once, before Thanksgiving, I had a Christmas panic that I didn't know what I was going to get Dave's parents. Yeah.]) and people tend to gain weight during that time. Last year I actually lost weight because I read that the average weight gain from Hallowe'en to New Years was five pounds...so I decided to mess with the averages. Heheh.

I'm really looking forward to having a job. It's not just the money (although that will be VERY nice) but it has a lot to do with the annoyance of not knowing where I'm going to be working, in what capacity and so on. Also, there's the annoyance of feeling like I need to be working on getting a job rather than, I dunno...blogging...?

Crap. I should probably get on that. *SIIIIIIIIIGH*

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hey you...


Is there anybody OUT there?

/floyd

Life has been happening. I've been at Dave's since Saturday night and just got home this afternoon.

I was starting to get sick again over the weekend, so I went to the doctor on Monday and I have got DRUGS! Here is an inhaler filled with Salbutamol to be used as needed. I also have a different inhaler (which is NOT purple. I didn't know they CAME in purple!!! I want a redo!! Stupid orange inhaler. [Oh. I should go suck it back now. Be right back...])

Uhhhh...where the hell is it? I showed it to my mom today, so I know it's around...crappity crap.

I'll post again later, but for now...I am irritated. And exhausted. Just wanted to let people know that I was actually alive.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Baby Steps


Sorry that my posts have been so boring lately. :P

I spent another day with beverly_sutphin and family...SO MUCH FUN! Also...SO MUCH WORK!!! I was ok dealing with one kid, but two? Two is just crazy talk. I don't know how parents do it. Seriously. Both kids (27 months and 1 month) are absolute darlings, each at different stages...but OMFG...the sheer amount of energy required...

And I would happily do it all again. I had an absolute blast.

-Make to do list
-Apply for BCCT membership and TQS card
-apply to a multitude of school boards
-finish secret project #1
-finish hemming two skirts
-look for a Rufus stuffed animal (I found one online for about $15 USD, including shipping etc. I'm sorely tempted.)
-take a whack of film to be developed
-finish cleaning my #$#()#ing room
-prune my rose bushes
-look up when my doctor's appointment is for a physical (bleah) AUGUST 21st 9:30 AM
-help my mom put together our new kitchen (hopefully it will be finished by the end of next week...)
-help my mom organize our basement (I'm being bribed with the possibility of moving the sewing machine and serger into the room next to mine... GLEE!)
-burn DVDs of stuff my computer has recorded. (Two down, many to go.)
-get my hair trimmed and manicure my nails
-get rid of 50% of the stuff I own that isn't craft stuff. (Living in the same house for nearly 27 years means a hella lot of build up. :P)
-find school library book
-photocopy stuff that my sponsor teacher loaned me (for that purpose)
-find stuff that belongs to my sponsor teacher and sponsor school that I forgot to give back
-register for karate at the rec centre
-remember to post about karate at the rec centre
-look into gymnastics and hip hop lessons for sometime in the semi-distant future. (Club Omega in Coquitlam is probably the closest to what I want and there are hip hop classes at a couple of community centres that sound really good.)

Friday, August 18, 2006

My Fall Schedule


So, if I do all the things I want to do this fall, my schedule will look something like this, but with the addition of subbing between nine and three:

Sun: disc golf in the morning, gaming in the afternoon
Mon: Ultimate and/or gymnastics and/or beginner hip hop
Tue: karate
Wed: serger/sewing classes occasionally and/or beginner ballet *
Thu: karate
Fri: gymnastics
Sat: karate

*Oh my god, I don't even know who I am anymore...**
**Sorry, I know I said I was going back to brackets..but this was irresistable.

Sooooo...yeah. That's not busy at all...

Not to mention that I want to audition for a community theatre group. I think maybe I'd better prioritize these things, or I'll burn out before the middle of September...let's see...scratch out hip hop until the spring...gymnastics and sewing are drop in, so that's ok...gaming would be fun, and Sundays aren't too busy...I think I should leave off on theatre until I've gotten some dance and voice training...

Ok...so that leaves karate and disc sports as my chosen commitments for the fall. Do-able. Definitely do-able.

Now to acquire a JOB in order to PAY for all these lessons that I'm coveting...oh yeah...and moving out expenses too.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Two Black Dresses, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

More pics up at Flickr.

The Other List


Every day I'm going to try and do a little bit in at least one of the following categories. I've come up with some priorities for what is important in my life. In no particular order...

1) Relationships: Chill out with Dave, Kit, Bimkins, Gwynabella, beverly_sutphin and/or other friends. Catch up on their lives. Help them catch up with mine.
2) Health and fitness: Do something active, eat healthy, get enough sleep.
3) Financial: Currently, this means "get a job"...filling out applications, etc.
4) Creative: Do some sewing, or painting, or writing, or play my guitar, or something along those lines.
5) Spiritual: Talk to a tree. Stare at the moon. KILL THOSE FSCKING CROWS THAT WON'T SHUT UP!!! er...this one I probably need to work on... Just chilling out also counts.
6) Personal space: Cleaning my room and organizing, and getting rid of stuff.

The first list is down there.
|
|
|
|
|
|
\ /

Slowly moving down the list...



-Make to do list
-Apply for BCCT membership and TQS card
-apply to a multitude of school boards
-finish secret project #1
-finish hemming two skirts
-look for a Rufus stuffed animal (I found one online for about $15 USD, including shipping etc. I'm sorely tempted.)
-take a whack of film to be developed
-finish cleaning my #$#()#ing room
-prune my rose bushes
-look up when my doctor's appointment is for a physical (bleah) AUGUST 21st 9:30 AM
-help my mom put together our new kitchen (hopefully it will be finished by the end of next week...)
-help my mom organize our basement (I'm being bribed with the possibility of moving the sewing machine and serger into the room next to mine... GLEE!)
-burn DVDs of stuff my computer has recorded. (Two down, many to go.)
-get my hair trimmed and manicure my nails
-get rid of 50% of the stuff I own that isn't craft stuff. (Living in the same house for nearly 27 years means a hella lot of build up. :P)
-find school library book
-photocopy stuff that my sponsor teacher loaned me (for that purpose)
-find stuff that belongs to my sponsor teacher and sponsor school that I forgot to give back
-register for karate at the rec centre
-remember to post about karate at the rec centre
-look into gymnastics and hip hop lessons for sometime in the semi-distant future. (Club Omega in Coquitlam is probably the closest to what I want and there are hip hop classes at the community centre that sound really good.)

*irritable*


What the hell? I printed out application forms and wrote down instructions for ten or so school districts and left them on my desk where I'd be able to find them for when I wanted to fill them out. Well, I want to fill them out...and do YOU think I can find them?

You get two guesses, and the first one doesn't count.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

OMG.


Phantom? Was awesome.

Can't talk...exhausted. Pics of Kit and I all sexy'd up will arrive shortly.

OMG, what an incredible show.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...


In the interests of actually shaping my life and skills in the ways I want (OMG, thanks Gwynabella...) I have done the following...

-yesterday I fooled around on the sewing machine and serger, just playing around and learning how they work better.
-also yesterday, I worked out on the bike for a little while and used the resistance bands that Dave loaned me.
-today I got up early and am heading to a serger class so that I can learn how to use the serger even better! :)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Secret Project #1, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

It's finally almost finished...Now that I've shown this baby quilt to the recepient, I can post a picture of it. :) It's for beverly_sutphin and her new baby boy.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Planning


My schedule for the next week...for me, and for others who are interested.

Monday: Hanging out with beverly_sutphin and family during the day.
Tuesday: maybe seeing my cousin, Kit sleeping over.
Wednesday: serger class in the AM, hanging out with Kit, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA in the evening.
Thursday: maybe seeing my cousin, karaoke night (WHEEEEEEE!!!)
Friday: Free?
Saturday: Saturdays in the Park, Grouse Grind with karate...I think I'll be taking the gondola, as I'm still not 100%
Sunday: Free?

List of things to do this week in between social things:
-Make to do list
-Apply for BCCT membership and TQS card
-apply to a multitude of school boards
-finish secret project #1
-finish hemming two skirts
-look for a Rufus stuffed animal (I found one online for about $15 USD, including shipping etc. I'm sorely tempted.)
-take a whack of film to be developed
-finish cleaning my #$#()#ing room
-prune my rose bushes
-look up when my doctor's appointment is for a physical (bleah) AUGUST 21st 9:30 AM
-help my mom put together our new kitchen (hopefully it will be finished by the end of next week...)
-help my mom organize our basement (I'm being bribed with the possibility of moving the sewing machine and serger into the room next to mine... GLEE!)
-burn DVDs of stuff my computer has recorded.
-get my hair trimmed and manicure my nails
-get rid of 50% of the stuff I own that isn't craft stuff. (Living in the same house for nearly 27 years means a hella lot of build up. :P)
-find school library book
-photocopy stuff that my sponsor teacher loaned me (for that purpose)
-find stuff that belongs to my sponsor teacher and sponsor school that I forgot to give back
-register for karate at the rec centre
-remember to post about karate at the rec centre
-look into gymnastics and hip hop lessons for sometime in the semi-distant future.

Some of that stuff obviously isn't crucial...but still. It's there for reference.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Insert interesting title over there. ---->


WARNING: This post contains some sycophantic self congratulations, and some blowing off of steam, and lots of introspection...but no dream descriptions. I'll spare you THAT. My dreams have been WHACKED OUT lately...I kid you not.

But if anyone's interested I'll transcribe some of them later from my paper journal.

This is a very odd entry...believe me, I'm ok. Just feeling odd and needing to spill my binary guts. Please bear with me. :P

I'm in a very weird headspace right now. Maybe I'm over-blank. Over-tired, over-stimulated, over-sugared, over-media'd, over-heated. Maybe I'm under-blank. Under-stimulated, under-exercised, under-fed, under-wear *.

A big change is happening, which isn't really big, I guess...but sure seems like it sometimes. More details forthcoming.

I feel like I'm saying that a lot these days.

I am SO SICK of feeling tired all the time. Today I went without a nap because I was at my cousin Kristy's bridal shower, and then went to visit Dave. The shower was really nice. :) I'm glad I went, but it's one of those odd things when someone you grew up with gets married. I haven't really had anyone I've grown up with get married, so this is kind of new to me.

Dave and I watched "Butterfly Effect" and it. Was. SO. Good. I'm really not an Ashton Kutcher fan, but he was amazing in it...just staggeringly good. The movie was unreal. We had the choice of the director's cut and the theatrical release and we watched the former. I want to watch the theatrical release in a couple of weeks. It was so intense that I couldn't watch it again sooner.

My brain hurts...not like, actual pain ** but sort of itching...like...restless. What should I do with this itch? Currently, I'm dealing with it by writing this post...but I don't know what I'm going to do after I finish it. I'm totally exhausted. I want to create. I want to sew or paint or draw or write...this hyperactive insane urge to create is very new to me and it's kind of freaking me out a little. I've always liked making stuff...jewellery, etc. but it feels like a switch has been turned on in my brain that is making me desperately need to spew creativity out *** onto something and it doesn't matter if it's a computer screen or paper, or a sketch pad or a yard of fabric.

*Just seeing if you're paying attention.
**Which, may I say, is a very nice change from the headache I've had for the last few days.
***Apparently just because I feel creative doesn't mean I actually write creative metaphors.

I feel like I should be further ahead in some things. I see people do things that they've obviously worked very hard at for many years and I want to be able to do them NOW. Examples: martial arts, sewing, painting, writing, gymnastics. Even lifting heavy objects...I don't like the limitations that my body currently has, especially with having been sick. I guess it's because my mind was so stretched out this year, and I've never really failed at anything mentally ** that I've tried to do. I keep meaning to take the Mensa test, because I'm crazy intelligent. Obnoxiously so at times...eg: this entire paragraph. I heard variations of "not living up to her potential" a LOT throughout elementary school. Sometimes I wonder if I'm cheating the world by not becoming a doctor or a physicist or something. Other times I really honestly wonder if I'm just such an egomaniac that I believe I've got some kind of gift that sets me apart from the rest of the world.

*which I've never really done...so I don't know why I expect this
**except Chem 11, but that doesn't really count because I didn't try because I hated it...and also certain logic arguments with Dave, but that also doesn't count because either Dave's a super freakishly smart guy with super logic training (true) or he is a big cheater head and clonks me on the head any time I start to win one of those arguments (I'm pretty sure that's not true...not entirely convinced though).

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Discoveries...


I'm not sure which of the two I'm more pleased to discover.

butterscotch formula
Are my mom and I the only ones who remember the Butterscotch Mint lifesavers? I tried to find a picture of them online without success. I couldn't even find reference to them. It's like the company has disavowed all knowledge of them...spooooooooky.


headache formula
The mystery of the headaches has been solved!! My parents and I both have had continual headaches since the paint and stain began being used in the kitchen renovations. SUCCESS!

Wait...does this mean I've got to stop self-medicating with caffiene?

Friday, August 11, 2006

Woo! Efficiency!


So far today I have gotten up at 5:30, worked out at the gym, had a healthy breakfast, watched some TV and done some crossword with my mom.

Yeesh. So much for getting to sleep in on my vacation!

Ok, I'm ready to go back to bed now. :P

Oh, and I've STILL got that headache from yesterday. *grumble*

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Ugh


I've got a heaaaadache... :P

I dropped off the tickets today in Maple Ridge. Apparently the woman who's going to see Phantom tomorrow night is really excited. :) I'm so happy that the tickets were bought by someone who is going to enjoy them rather than a scalper, who was the first bid.

I started sewing a very cute skirt in this style but in a mint green fabric with pink flowers on it and it will have a black band along the top. The fabric sounds hideous, but it's really nice. It's very retro and it SWIRLS like a dancer's skirt! I love it so far. :D

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

HOLY CRAP I'M FINISHED SCHOOL!! I'M NOT A STUDENT ANY MORE! THIS IS A LABEL I'VE HAD FOR THE LAST 22 YEARS! I NEVER HAVE TO GO BACK TO UNIVERSITY AGAIN UNLESS I WANT TO OR ELSE I CAN'T GET A JOB!! OH MY GOD, I DON'T HAVE A JOB YET! OMG OMG OMG...


*hyperventilates and goes to sit in a corner*

I think I need some serious chocolate ice cream...or Half Baked. And chicken curry...or something like that. And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.

Whoa. I feel dizzy.

Hooray for Gravol!


Last night, I remembered I bought Gravol* in anticipation of going to Vancouver Island, the trip I didn't actually get to go on. :( However, I still have the Gravol! I take one and chat with Kit online for a few minutes, then it starts looking like this:

Karin said: maybe I should go back to bed and wait for sleepy making t o kcikin
Karin said: whops. htere it goes

And then I went to bed and passed right completely out, waking up at 8:30...half an hour before my last class of my career was to start. It's at least an hour's drive, plus I'd need to get ready still, I still had a vicious headache and I could feel cramps starting. I said, "forget it", emailed my prof and went back to bed.

Currently, at 1200, after sleeping for a while, while using too many commas, I still have the vicious headache, my cramps are worse and I'm really glad I stayed home. I also feel bad about it. :( I really really enjoyed the class I'm missing, and this would be only the third and a half day I've missed classes this entire year **. Now, telling you this is a scary bad thing, because every time that I brag about not missing any classes, I get so sick that within a week I've missed one. Maybe by bragging now, I'm taking up the slack for today. It's a nice thought...

*Actually no name brand "Travel Tabs". They were $1.85.
**Plus one day of practicum

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Ohhhhh...my tummy.


I feel so sick, I think I might actually throw up. THIS SUCKS! Not only am I so overtired I can't sleep, but I'm so overtired that I'm nauseated. Unnngghhhhh...

Ooh!


I can see the moon through my basement window! This doesn't happen very often. Nifty.

I've already asked Gwynabella about this, but I'm going to put a shout out to all transit riders. I don't ride the bus a whole lot, since I'm supremely lucky to have a boyfriend who will go to work very early so that I can catch a ride with him. However, a few times in the last couple of weeks I've wanted to leave a little earlier, so I took the bus home.

Twice now, out of maybe five or six rides that I was alone on, in between stops, on a three quarters empty bus, a man has gotten up from his perfectly suitable seat (ie: I don't think sun was a factor, and there wasn't anyone near him) and come to sit next to me. Is this unusual? Because it kind of freaked me out...and they both kind of smelled bad. Man, I know I look good in them, but maybe I should stop wearing skirts...

Sunday, August 06, 2006

It's That Day Again!


1200-fiddling around on the computer, very tired, debating whether or not I should go to bed.

145-finally go to bed, write in my paper journal and fall asleep.

1007-wake up, get up and check my email, chat with Dave on MSN about what we're going to do today. Realize that today is the sixth already, and that it's the Day in the Life.

1039-have my first pop of the day, caffiene free Diet Coke.

1118-start cleaning my room, fiddle with my settings for my computer to tape TV, make a list of all the Kim Possible episodes I currently have saved. Delete a bunch of stuff so that I can have room for new stuff.

1149-have lunch with my mom and dad (cheese, crackers, various spreads).

1252-go back to cleaning my room, watching Corner Gas on my computer

149-Dave comes over to play on my computer while I clean my room. This is a very good thing because a) I'm not on my computer, b) when someone else is here, I don't wander around upstairs or read a book and c) when I'm cleaning I need something slightly distracting, but not so much that I'm super distracted. Semi-watching someone play games is perfect. I drink my second pop of the day, Lime Diet Coke

507-I realize it's after five and I'm kind of hungry. Dinner is thought about, but since our kitchen is being renovated, there's not much to do. I sulk for a while, watch Dave play Bard's Tale (because I want to be left alone) and fall asleep.

655-I wake up. Whoops. I insist on cuddles with Dave before he needs to go.

712-Dave leaves and I wander around upstairs for a while.

739-I make dinner, which is suspiciously like lunch...crackers with melted cheese, but I also have some Raisin Bran Crunch cereal beforehand. With the crackers and cheese I have my THIRD pop of the day, plain Diet Coke. And I wonder why I have a bad stomach. I work on the crossword puzzle that my parents and I always work on as a team. I fill in ten or so words. Go me!

822-I show my mom the progress in my room. Yay! I swap my third load of laundry, and realize that the bag I put all of my fabric scraps in (so that they don't fall all over the place in the washer) opened up, leading them to fall all over the place in the washer. Bother. I untangle them from my clothes and put them all in the dryer. I'm so very sick of laundry.

852-I finish writing this post, up to this point.

More to come...

Friday, August 04, 2006

Test Update


So, I didn't take the test today after all...because my prof cancelled it! I would LOVE this class if it wasn't for all the uncertainty. :P

I mostly finished a skirt today. I should probably hem it, but the bottom is serged and it doesn't look too bad. I kinda like it that way. Pictures later.

I did a bunch of quizzes, so here are my results.

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 6/8 correct!


Your Stress Level is: 55%

You are somewhat prone to stress, especially when life gets hard.
When things are good, you resist stressing over little problems.
But when things are difficult, you tend to freak out and find it hard to calm down.


Your 1950s Name is:

Phyllis Dorothy


You Should Weigh 145

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.
If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!


Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy.
You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.


You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions


Your Geek Profile:

Academic Geekiness: Highest
SciFi Geekiness: Highest
Gamer Geekiness: Moderate
Geekiness in Love: Moderate
Music Geekiness: Moderate
Fashion Geekiness: Low
Internet Geekiness: Low
Movie Geekiness: Low
General Geekiness: None

Thursday, August 03, 2006

A Big List of Stuff


(rant)
I'm in this class. We're regurgitating the textbook in presentations and that's all the class is. Grr...the prof hasn't taught us anything all term. Also, we haven't had any feedback on any of our assignments, we're losing out 14+ hours of teaching time (out of a possible 36) and we have a quiz tomorrow. ARGH! Now I have several choices. I can take this quiz tomorrow (Friday) and having a four day weekend and only needing to go to school on Wednesday, taking it next Tuesday and having a three day weekend only needing to go in Wednesday or taking it Friday and needing to go in Tuesday, Wednesday AND Friday. I need to go in tomorrow anyway, so I think I'll decide when I get there. I emailed my prof and hopefully she'll give me my feedback. I'll be a lot less stressed if I know that I had a high enough mark that I could just not take the test and I'd still pass the course. It's only worth 25% of my mark and I need 76% to pass. Yuck.
(/rant)

I followed a raven yesterday. It was pretty cool. :D I also ate vast quantities of huckleberries after picking them myself, walked through a Japanese garden and looked at some beautiful museum objects. I looked at all of these pieces of art that were all so different, but they all had one thing in common. Someone, somewhere had a vision of beauty, and they took materials...clay, paint, wood or wool...and made these incredible representations of their thoughts. This...THIS is what I want to do.

Today I went through a community centre near Chinatown and learned about the work that they do, including a breakfast program for the children in the area. It was awesome. I'd been worried about getting into an inner city school when I finally had my own classroom, but now I'm almost HOPING to be put in a poorer section of the Lower Mainland. I've got a bunch of ideas for how to help my students. We also toured Chinatown, including a Taoist temple. It was really neat! I burned some incense and said a prayer while there were seven or eight people (monks and nuns?) chanting and ringing chimes. It was truly amazing.

This has been a pretty spiritual week. Between ravens and museums and gardens and incense and picking my own food, I'm feeling awfully serene, despite the annoyance of this class. Could this be because I've only got two more class days??? I think it might be!

Also! I have an auction up on ebay via my friend...Phantom of the Opera tickets...fifth row, August 11th. If you're interested, please bid, or let other people know that they're there. Thank you!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Good Guesses!


I don't really want to post what I actually did to get my arms all scraped up...I like the guesses better! But, I did promise, and it is a day late.

Picture, if you will, one of the movie popcorn promo buckets. Now, picture me in short sleeves, toting said bucket. Now, after one hour, picture said bucket 3/4 filled with sweet, succulent blackberries, for my sweet boyfriend. Awwwww...

Incidentally, there's a correlation between the biggest clumps of the biggest, ripest blackberries and the greatest amount of thorns between the picker and the clump.

Today was awesome. I only have two (2!!!) days of classes left, due to field trips and other things. I have a field trip to Chinatown tomorrow (w00t!) to learn about the immigration headtax and a community centre that continues the local school's free breakfast and lunch program in the summer when the school is (obviously) closed. Friday I have a quiz. Monday is a stat holiday (BC day). Tuesday I'm supposed to go visit the Museum of Anthropology on my own, but I went yesterday, so I now have Tuesday off (whee! Four day weekend!). Wednesday I have class, but it's going to be fun. I love my Exceptionalities class. And I'm not just saying that because my prof probably has this address * or anything. ;) Thursday and Friday, my classes are finished for that day. Holy crap. I've only got two days left.

*Hi Raquel!

Today...today pretty much rocked.

The fast version: I got early morning snuggles when I went to Dave's to get my lift to school, I worked out the above calculations, had an interesting class, went swimming for free, had lunch for partly free, studied for my quiz which will be pretty easy, went home with Dave and had a good dinner.

Swimming: At lunch time, students at my university are allowed to swim for free, so I arranged to be there at that time. I started out swimming in the moderate lane (slow, moderate or fast were my options) but got passed with AUTHORITY before I'd gone half a length. This was somewhat demoralizing. I've never been a ridiculously fast swimmer, but I can usually keep up. I switched to the slow lane where it took me ten minutes to swim four lengths of the Olympic sized outdoor pool, since I needed to rest after every length. This was also very depressing, so I took my towel and headed into the complex. While there, I decided not to give up so quickly, so I started slowly doing laps of the shorter pool. My goal was to do ten minutes, to match my outside stuff. I reached the end of the ten minutes, but I was on the other side of the pool, so I swam back. When I reached the end, it was pretty close (ish) to 15 minutes, so I bullied myself into going for that amount of time. I did that a few more times, and wound up swimming for 35 minutes. That doesn't really sound like much, but it's the most activity I've done in a row since Pender Island...over a month ago. I was completely exhausted by the end of it. I was resting every so often still because I was having a bit of trouble breathing still (freaking pneumonia) but I did 35 minutes worth of swimming.

I am so incredibly proud of myself.

Oh, and I drank three lime Diet Cokes. I'll just sit here vibrating for a while, shall I?