Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Ooh! I can complain HERE!

My voice is totally gone. I thought that it was gone yesterday, but I could actually make my vocal cords move slightly...enough to get a quiet rasp out of them. Now? Harsh whisper.

However, my fingers are not limited by my vocal cords! If only I had something to write about. :P This means that I can complain to all and sundry over ICQ and MSN...including my parents in the same room because they've got MSN and I type much faster than I handwrite/print. What a good solution. Now I just need to get them to sit at the computer and play games like they normally do. I've resorted to banging on my computer desk if I need something. It's like when I used to be sick. My mom used to leave a bell on my night table in case I needed anything.

Monday, May 30, 2005


After nearly two months, my gallery of science fiction and fantasy art is UP! WOO!

Link to follow. Please don't stalk me. :D

SO EXCITED!!! And I've even got comments!!!111!!!ONE!!!ELEVEN!!!EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!

(correction: three and a half hours of tutoring, but one cancelled, so I'm back to 2.5. Bummer. Oh, and my voice is GONE [like a freight train, gone like yesterday, gone like a soldier in the Civil War {BANG BANG} Gone like a '59 Cadillac, like all the good things, that ain't never coming back...it's gone.])

i said hi *cough*

I've almost completely lost my voice. I'm all croaky, and I'm leaving in five minutes to do two and a half hours of tutoring. Oh.....my. Apparently yelling at 40 grade 1/2's for two hours isn't a good way of conserving one's voice. Who knew?

Oh, and I'm going to be yelling at *90* kids on Saturday...no singing in the car for me for the rest of the week...not if I want to be able to speak above a whisper by Sunday.

And I'm almost out of cough syrup. Lots of lozenges though.

Sunday, May 29, 2005


Hokay... Dave has sent out a blog challenge. Post something every day in the month of June. I'm going to try it, although it will dilute my fabulous (HAHAHAHAHAAAAHHAHA!!!) writing.

Currently, I'm cross-drugged, so I feel great, although a bit sweaty. Mmmm...neo-citrin and benadryl. How I love thee. And thee. Thou? Meh.

Currently rereading the first four books of "The Guardians of the Flame" series by Joel Rosenberg. Good stuff. I bought the fifth one a month or so back, started reading it and realized I couldn't remember what happened in the first one. They're pretty short (compared to, say Robert Jordan) so I've already read nearly the first three. Keeping up the pace, I ought to finish the last one right about the time I'm awake for no particular reason at 0500. Again. Two days in a row, dammit.

I slept a lot today, but hopefully being up for no particular reason at 0500 will work in my favour.

Let's go test that theory now, shall we?

Saturday, May 28, 2005

No Spoiler Central.

For those of you who haven't watched the season finale of Alias, there will be no spoilers. For those of you who have watched the season finale of Alias, you'll already know. For those of you who couldn't give a rat's behind about the season finale of Alias, well...too bad. :P This post isn't directed at you.

All I've got to say is "NGGGHA!!!! WHA?!!?!? BU..but...but...HEY!!!!!"

That is all.

*sniffle* *sneeze*

*closes eyes* *tries to swallow* *sore throat wakes me up again* *sniffle* *closes eyes* *tries to swallow and is again yanked out of sleep by the sore throat* *opens eyes* *checks the time* *mumbles something grumpy to self*

*repeat for the last FOUR HOURS*

So, it's quarter past five, and I haven't actually really slept yet. Cripes. Well, I just heard the water stop boiling for my lemon-flavoured liquid sleeping pill (mmm...Neo-Citrin, how I do love thee) so maybe that'll help.


I'm feeling suprisingly awake and lucid, to the point where I'm actually considering going to the high school Ultimate championships for 0700. Totally not going to happen, but I'll probably mosey over there around 11 or 12 to help Dave with his candy booth.

I hate having a sore throat. Oh, and it's all lovely and swollen. Maybe I shouldn't be doing the candy thing...

Friday, May 27, 2005

If Donna jumped off a bridge...

(edit: I just realized that I must've been high on cough syrup when I wrote this. Fixing up now.)
( ) I've Never Been Drunk
(X) I've Never Smoked Pot (how bizarre is that?)
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex
( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car (never been in a car accident except when I was a passenger)
(X) I've Never Been To Japan (it's on THE LIST)
( ) I've Never Been In A Taxi
( ) I've Never Been In Love
( ) I've Never Had Sex In A Car
( ) I've Never Had Sex In Somebody Else's Car
(X) I've Never Been Dumped (I don't count grade eight)
(X) I've Never Done Cocaine
(X) I've Never Done Nitrous
(X) I've Never Smoked Hash
( ) I've Never Shoplifted (I was three or four...I grabbed some earrings from on the floor)
( ) I've Never Been Fired (1st year of university.)
(X) I've Never Been In A Fist Fight (sparring doesn't count)
(X) I've Never Snuck Out Of My Parent's House (unless you count going into the backyard, or just not saying "hey, I'm leaving")
( ) I've Never Been Tied Up
( ) I've never regretted Having Sex With Someone
(X) I've Never Been Arrested
( ) I've Never Made Out With A Stranger
( ) I've Never Stolen Something From My Job (stickers we put on bags...kind of like the ones MacDonalds puts on the takeout bags...from the job I got fired for [not the reason I got fired])
(X) I've Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square (also on THE LIST)
(X) I've Never Gone On A Blind Date
( ) I've Never Lied To A Friend
( ) I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher
(X) I've Never Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans (ALSO on THE LIST)
( ) I've Never Been To Europe (the UK, twice)
( ) I've Never Skipped School (university only, or pretending to be sick, going to the medical room and taking a nap)
(X) I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker (the advantage of working with older, married, retired, Christian teachers)
( ) I've Never Cut Myself On Purpose (I don't do that anymore. :) )
( ) I've Never Been Married
( ) I've Never Been Divorced
( ) I've Never Posed Nude
(X) I've Never Killed Anyone (that rabbit I ran over doesn't count, right? Or my fish by accident?)
(X) I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner/Significant other
(X) I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar (I'm much classier than Donna. I save puking until I get home...or outside)
( ) I've Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire. (locks of hair. Yeah, don't ask...I don't know why)
( ) I've Never Eaten Sushi (mmmmm...I loves the sushi. One of the first ones I ever ate was octopus)
(X) I've Never Been Snowboarding (once, but I suck the big suck. I only did it for like...20 minutes)
( ) I've Never Flashed Anyone
(X) I've Never Met Anyone From Online (anyone I've met has always been a friend of a friend, even if I hadn't actually met them first)
( ) I've Never Had Sex


So, I've been sort of sniffly/sick ish for the last couple of months...but this morning I woke up DEFINITELY sick. I could barely swallow because my throat was so sore, and walking up a flight of stairs to get to the kitchen made me wheeze like crazy. Ugh.

I have to tutor 4-5, 530-630 and 730-830, then maybe go see friends tonight. I think I'll be skipping the friends thing, unfortunately. :( I don't want to spread germs all over the place.

Now to remember who it was that I was talking to that told me that s/he had a really bad sore throat cold, but wasn't contagious any more.

Thursday, May 26, 2005


Step one to getting goals met: get teacher training applications in. *CHECK!*

I stayed up until after three am last night getting my UBC application package together, but now I'm FINISHED. I just need to get one final letter of reference together for SFU, and then I sit back until June, July or August (maybe September) to find out if I'm getting into UBC or SFU, in September or January. I really hope I make it into the September intake. Starting four months earlier and (more importantly) FINISHING four months earlier. Um..yeah. Bring THAT on, TYVM.

I was going to go to a rock and gem meeting tonight, but I'm tired. Instead I will draw and sleep and so on. Yay. :)

I need to buy some film. And start carrying around a camera. I want to take pictures all the time now, and it's hard when I don't have a camera handy. Even if I've got my sketch book, I can't usually pause for half an hour to sketch something. Half a minute? That I can do.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I'm playing Ultimate tonight. Last week I nearly quit because I was so angry with myself. Hopefully tonight will be better. *crosses fingers*

Monday, May 23, 2005

I've been tagged!

Lovergirl (Dave only)
Sweetie K (My dad's nickname for me)

Krystal Band'h (Star Trek online RPG)


lack of muscle
fingernails (I bite 'em)


Loved ones dying
big insects and arachnids
enclosed spaces

knowing I'm loved and wanted

new sleeveless "butchy" top
green gay man plaid pants
green g-string


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
I have had the sniffles for the last six months
I was bridesmaid for my boyfriend's ex girlfriend
I refuse to eat Chinese food.

long hair (neat and clean)
facial hair (ditto)
a nice butt

finish eating my mango
work on something artistic
watch Queer as Folk season 4

artist (hehe...once I'm done with the whole "sucking" part)

Scotland again
a cruise (I don't care where...I'm all about the food)
some sort of spiritual pilgrimage

Rhiannon (I'd probably never saddle a poor kid with that)

sell a piece of art (including a novel)
get my black belt in karate

Kit (REVENGE for all the quizzes you used to send me!!! MUHAHAHA!!!)
Bimkins (HAH. Now you have to post!)
LadyGwyn (when she gets back)

"Hello, pot? This is the kettle. You're black."

Two pervy hits...two disappointed perverts. No tits here, folks.

Sunday, May 22, 2005


Hello pervy googlers!! I got a hit for "porn" through Blog Search just now. I was number 9. *sniff* *wipes away a tear* I'm SO PROUD!!!

whyohwhyohwhy ohwhyohwhyohwhy ohwhyohwhyohwhy...

...do people think it's acceptable to talk in movies? Or YELL, like the guy behind us was doing during Star Wars III tonight. I mean, I can understand yelling at the exciting bits if you're in your living room, but for fuck's sake, stop wrecking it for the rest of us and yapping during the dialogue. GRAGH!

Must return to the basics...two rules that I haven't been living by the last few weeks.

1) Don't sweat the small stuff...
2) Everything is small.

*deep breath* *still grumbling*

Feeling better.

I'm even enjoying the grossness of my 3 in 1 internet stalker. I have had this person on MSN for the last couple weeks trying to get me to turn on my webcam...sending me porn of him...etc. He's now got two other accounts that he's using an awful lot of time to try and get me to show him my tits.

Today he was being a bigger asshole than usual, so I banned him and his two accounts, but I've turned them back on because I'm bored. Maybe I should go and work on some artsy stuff. :)

Saturday, May 21, 2005


I'm tired.

I feel myself withdrawing from everyone. I don't want to do any of the group stuff I used to do (karate, Ultimate, hanging out with friends). When I go to sleep I am plagued by recurring nightmares of serial killers and rapists who try to cut me up and make it so I can't scream (aside: going to karate and "kiai"ing as loud as I can was REALLY good therapy for that one).

I sleep 11 or 12 hours a night, but still need a nap in the afternoon to make it through. I don't want to drive anywhere out of my way to visit anyone. I haven't checked my voicemail in weeks. I haven't worked on my UBC application (almost done...thank goodness).

I sit and read blogs. I look up art tutorials online. I sleep. I tutor. I put off volunteering for as long as I can, even though I enjoy it. I sleep some more. I eat food that doesn't interest me. I sleep.

I'm so tired.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Genius has turned to madness.

Anyone besides Kit who gets the quote above (without using Google...) gets...um...a cookie? A polite nod to their genius (sans madness perhaps?) BEFORE one reads the rest of the post.

I'll wait a second or two...



Ok, good enough.

(Jeez, I'm really geeky...sorry for anyone who doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about...ok, here goes.)

I've spent about the last three hours either painting or sketching, some of it while listening to Phantom of the Opera (2004 movie version...one of the best IMHO [if only because it includes about 80% of the music as well as the non music bits]). (yay, nested brackets) It's really bizarre to listen to this kind of music while drawing. I know I won't be able to completely tell what it's like...because it's like a dream, where people are like, "uh huh...yeah...I know what you mean" while they're desperately wishing that you'd just SHUT UP ABOUT THE DREAM (partly because I've had a glass of wine [or two{and you don't want to know how many typos I've had to backspace...seriously...I have NO head for alcohol any more }]).

It's weird how alcohol enhances one's ability to notice things...and totally destroys one's ability to notice things at the same time. (like roadblocks) For example, I noticed in the song "Masquerade/Why So Silent" that there are echoes of the final song, the new one..."Learn to be Lonely" when the Phantom is waiting for Christine to answer whether or not she would "swallow her pride" and come back to "her teacher". It almost make me CRY!!! I was all like FORESHADOWING the sadness and the need of the Phantom to learn how to be lonely! (shaddap. Just because I had to listen to the freaking thing six times before I figured it out...lousy English major I am.

Whilst I'm on my semi-intoxicated ramblings, I'd like to point out to all English geeks, of which I am proud to say I am one, that foreshadowing is generally a bunch of hooey. It's really a case of hindsight being twenty twenty. I mean, the first time that someone sees a play or...whatever...if you're anything like me, you aren't going to realize that the bird was indicative of the protagonist. It won't be until the end of the whatever-it-was-that-you-were-watching-or-reading that you realize that "Oh! That was all symbolic 'n' stuff!" But, please. Does anyone actually realize what the hell is going on in those things? Except in CSI. Sometimes. Ok, once in a while, but when I'm right, EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE KNOWS IT!

On a totally unrealated, but not quite, I managed to become an English major without actually taking a Shakespeare course...Shakespeare being the highly disputed master of foreshadowing (and he stole stuff from Chaucer, but that's ok, because there are only seven stories in the world). Jeez.. I don't even know if that was a run on sentence. *pretends to check the commas* Yeah, that looks about right.

So I hate Shakespeare...but only reading the plays. The sonnets, I don't have an opinion about because I haven't looked at them (ie: really cared enough). Morph, aka teenage angst from trollzor (not linking...too stream of consciousness right now) pointed out to me that reading a play is like reading a TV or movie script. Sure, you could do it, but why would you unless you're a total fan boy/girl. I am not a total Shakespearean fanboy/girl, therefore, I don't enjoy reading the plays.

Holy crap. I've written a lot for not planning to write a lot. I started writing around 1:30 or so, but I've been sporadically watching my dad play internet poker for the last hour and change.

G'nite. I need to drink some water so I'm moderately coherent when I attempt to volunteer at the elementary school tomorrow. That's ALL I need. "Miss Karin? Why does your breath smell like my mom's when she's been out with her friends?"

No, they don't call me Miss Karin, but they do call me Miss or Mrs. "lastname" which really freaked me out the first...thirty times I heard it. I was all like "Where's my mom, because that's here name...not mine."

g'nite for real.

Thursday, May 19, 2005


Well, I can now say with complete confidence that I do NOT have lightning fast reflexes...you know...for that one of you who was possibly under the mistaken impression that I did. (The only reason I ducked that disc was because I tripped.)

I just spent twenty minutes trying to take a picture of the lightning that was happening, but to no avail. So I took a picture of my keyboard and my fish because they don't move nearly as quickly.


Time to go back to painting. Stuff inside my brain holds still better too.

*grumble snark*

I'm not sure why I'm grumpy. I just had two kinds of yummy yummy cheese, I took a nap this afternoon and I have a couple of paintings on the go.

Freaking PMS.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


A fun thing I was involved with today...Gwyn and I had a comment war.

From Bimkins: Excuse me while I claw my eyes out, metaphorically speaking.

Also from Bimkins, this makes up for the above link. Feeling bad about how little you've accomplished? This will...probably make you feel worse. Start at zero and work your way up.

Constant Cravings.

I've heard that when people really crave something (not just want it...but CRAVE it) it means that their body needs something in it. For the last several weeks, I've been craving cheese mainly, but lately I've started craving porridge with raisins in it. Seriously...I can't get enough of it. Raisins I can understand because I've got a mild iron deficiency...but what's with the oatmeal?

The cheese, I think that might just be me really, really liking cheese.

I have a book entitled "Why Women Need Chocolate". I'll release some of my findings later. :)


Exercise? Check
Stuff done? Check
Eating well? Check



I said... SHUSH! I heard you!!

Yeah. I had a spectacularly crappy meltdown tonight. Damn you hormones. I'm better now and I was better after a while, but holy crap it was totally dehibilitating. Thank goodness for friends, chocolate and beer, because seriously, I nearly quit something I really like tonight.

Yeesh. Time for anti-depressants almost. This is getting to the point where I'm sad WAY too often, and it affects me so much that I have trouble getting out of bed...or staying out of bed. (Mmm...afternoon naps are wunnerful.)

So yeah. That's my ARGH moment for the day.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

"Uphill, both ways..."

I just walked to my polling station, then to Tim Hortons and home. This wouldn't be such a big deal (since my polling station is less than a kilometre away) but I live on one of the steepest hills in BC (probably a slight exaggeration, but meh). So I walked uphill about 1.5 kilometres to get home. And my toe is fine! Yay! Turns out I cracked the nail, but not the actual toe. This pleases me, since it means I'll be able to play Ultimate tonight. :)


That's about it. I'm not gonna tell you which way to vote, or what you should do on BC-STV, but dammit...vote or spoil your ballot.


Monday, May 16, 2005

GAH!! Mudaheigaodkjhghghg...ghhdi!

I smashed my second and third toes into the couch this afternoon...three hours later, they're still throbbing. Ow.

I really wanted to kick the couch, but that was kind of what got me into this mess in the first place.

In other news: I got my SFU PDP (teacher training) application in today. I still have some supplemental documentation to give them, but I've got until the end of the month. I spent most of this morning panicking as I realized one after another of things that I didn't have done, or didn't have done properly. (incidentally, finding out that Douglas College's registrar's office is closed on Mondays when I needed FOUR copies of my transcripts...not a way to keep my heart beating regularly) However, it seems everything is ok.

Now for the UBC application.

Art is Hard.

A Rambling Post In Which The Author Begins By Pitying Herself, But Quickly Turns Into A Post About Art, Which Then Evolves Into A Monologue About Karate...Much Like A Real Life Conversation With The Author.

(This is a fairly long post. Feel free to skip to the last paragraph to get the gist of it.)

Seriously...it's hard. Art is, in many ways, like karate...(karate also being an art, but I'm talking about painting and drawing right now.) As soon as I think I'm pretty good at it, I look around and realize exactly how much I need to learn and how much farther I need to go.

(Author's note: no one has EVER told me that I wasn't ready to do something with karate. I have always been the one to tell myself that I needed to work harder at something else first.)

When I first started karate, I sort of knew the first kata (Pinan Nidan, if you're interested) from taking lessons previously. I made quick progress in "learning" the rest of it and then got impatient to learn the next one. In art terms, I had learned how to draw a stick figure of a human being. I knew where the head was in relation to the neck and the feet (Dr. Nick: "The arm bone's connected to the wrist bone. The wrist bone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to my....wrist watch. ... Uh oh.") but I didn't know how the joints work, or muscle structure, or even how to draw hair without it looking like it was gelled straight down.

Being me, however, I desperately wanted to show it off, so I bored various friends and family members with my stick figure rendition of Pinan Nidan. (ahem...sorry about that if you were one of them. Heh.) Soon, I realized that not only was I unready to begin learning the next kata, I REALLY didn't know this one. Slowly, instead of being corrected on the basic stick figure, I was being corrected on joint positioning and finer details. Instead of being corrected on which way to turn, or which foot was in front (or behind), I began to be corrected on more minute details of stances or hand positions.

Sweet! I've improved tremendously! Now, I figured I was ready to learn the next kata! Then I started watching some of the black belts doing theirs. Whoa. This was like looking through a museum while I was still drawing with crayons. Outside the lines. Mentally chastened, I kept working on my Pinan Nidan. Now, I'm certainly not museum quality, but hey...I can look at myself and think that I'm farther along than I was.

I need to put more time into both painting/drawing and karate. I also need to remember that there will always be someone better than I am, with a different style and more experience. Art (both karate and drawing) is not a contest, or a race except against myself. I need to remember not to get frustrated when it seems like I haven't made any progress, because I have...I just may not be able to see it.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Who knew it's this tough?

I'm trying to write a reference letter about me for someone to sign. How does one do this?! I'm so bad at it.

He knows me so well.

I'm currently procrastinating.

Even when Dave is out of the house, I'm STILL busted for goofing around.

Reason #2932953. :)

Friday, May 13, 2005

Reason #2593403 I love my boy

Exchange from this evening...
Me: "Arrr..."
He: "No...that's what pirates say."
Me: (testing it out) "Arrrrrr...?"
He: "No. Vampires don't say 'arrrr'. They say 'whoosh'."
Me: *uncontrollable hysterics* Move. I'm sitting down at your computer now.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Back from Victoria

Overall, it was a remarkably inexpensive trip for me. We caught the 0700 ferry out of Tsawassen and got to Schwartz Bay without incident. We arrived at the cruise ship dock around 0930 and waited around for my brother until around 11, then we went on a tour of the ship, got treated to lunch at the BBQ area of the ship and left, making the 1500 ferry by less than half a dozen cars. I slept in the car for the whole trip back, and that's about it. Unfortunately I didn't get to go shopping, but on the plus side, I wound up only spending $1.50 for a cup of coffee.


I have to leave the house tomorrow at 0500 to catch a ferry to Victoria to see my brother. Why is it that I'm the one who has to get up obscenely early since he's been on the cruise ships?! Nuhgnhuhgh. If I got to bed right now and fall asleep right now, I'll get almost four hours of sleep.


Monday, May 09, 2005


Ok, why are all the local art classes either aimed at children or people who want to do this as a business? And EXPENSIVE!!!! Where's the beginner sketch for clueless adults?!

Sunday, May 08, 2005


I've been contemplating things that are important to me lately, and trying to actually work on them and not waste time on silly things. It's working too. :) I'm being productive and going to bed at night feeling pleased about what I've accomplished throughout the day.

I was reading the newspaper today and found this quote by a Nobel Prize winning physicist that sums up a lot of the way I think.(random movie quote that isn't the actual quote: "You mean the disappearing nuclear physicist husband was simply a red herring?")

"I was born not knowing, and have only a little time to change that here and there."
--Richard Feynman

That's kind of how I am. I love knowing a little bit about lots of things. This may make me appear flighty to people as I jump from one interest to another (karate! Wicca! drawing and painting! guitar! knitting! guppy keeping! writing! gardening! Repeat!) but it's who I am.

For a long time (since I was a kid) I had thought that there was something wrong with me, that my attention couldn't be kept by any one passion long enough to make myself truly skilled at it, but then I realized something. I do have a major passion that has lasted me throughout my life. I am a very good reader and can completely lose myself in a novel or non-fiction work for hours. I can read ridiculously quickly as well, which means that I can absorb great amounts of information in a tiny fraction of the time that it takes others to.

Rather than berating myself for my lack of focus, I'm beginning to celebrate my eclectism and love of knowledge and learning. This is a bold shift for me, and I'm hoping to keep it going.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Chasing frisbees like a golden retriever.

Yup, it's Ultimate season again. I managed to successfully avoid injury, make a couple of nice plays and I even scored a point. Yay! Oh, and I had fun too. :D Yay! I hurt pretty badly now though. My shoulders are sore (although they were before), my calves are very very angry with me, my achilles tendons ache and the muscles in my arms seem to be kind of shocked...I'm having trouble not making typos.

All in all, a good time. :)

Sunday, May 01, 2005


I'm going to have a one year old visitor at my house for six or seven hours today. Must childproof!! *runs away from the computer to do that*