Oh, you suck. And OMG!! YAY!!!!

OPEN LETTERS TO TWO SCHOOL DISTRICTS THAT I TALKED TO TODAY

Dear School District #1,
YOU SUCK. I hate you. And your crappy person I talked to. "Don't bother applying for another year." Bite me. Your freaking loss.
The Teacher (who can find another job anywhere she wants)

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Dear School District #2,
You totally and completely rock. I love you and want to have your children (grades K-12). Thank you for the voice mail today telling me that you are accepting my application and sending it on to the next level (reference checks) because my references are going to knock your socks completely off. After that, I will give you the most impressive and together interview you've EVER heard, then the criminal record check will come back sans flaw, and you will offer me a job in your lovely, large, growing (btw, that means that you'll be giving me a classroom in the next few months...hmmm????) school district. Also, the place that you are means I'll be able to buy a place for much cheaper...and maybe even have HORSES!!! Do you know how much I love you?

Thanks,
The Teacher who will soon be working, thank all the gods.