I've GOT it!
While driving home and thinking about my irritating hair (I'm growing out my natural colour [dark blonde/light brown], which means there are some loooooong roots. Or else, looooong dyed tips of fried hair [sort of orange-y]). While I was doing this (complete with mental parentheses, as I was composing this post at the same time) I figured out the best way for me to get an interview.
Step one: get irritated at my hair. DONE!
Step two: get it cut so there's an inch or two of evil orange left.
Step three: dye the tips purple, or some other crazy wild colour.
Step four: as soon as the dye is set and permanent, a school board will call and ask me to be interviewed that afternoon!
It's practically foolproof!!!
Anybody got any ideas why that wouldn't work? Hmmm???