Friday, April 09, 2004

Dear Customers,

An open letter to everyone who goes to a store.

Hi there! I'm Karin and I'll be your cashier for today. To make things a little more pleasant for all of us, I'd like you to read and review these simple rules. I'll be with you in just a moment.

1) Please bathe before going out in public. While your cat may like the scent of urine clinging to your clothing, the rest of us humans do not find it nearly as comforting as your feline might.

2) Unfold the bills you hand me. I do have to unfold them, and you only have to unfold one bill, whereas I have to unfold several hundred a day.

3) Please bring the items in your buggy or basket out of said buggy or basket. In the case of the buggy, I am NOT going to lean over the counter to bring every item out of it. And since you are only going to be going through one or two checkouts today YOU can take everything out of your basket. I have over three hundred customers per day. That is a lot of repetitive stress syndrome.

3b) You are allowed to help wrap up the 64 clay pots and 47 pieces of glassware. Especially if there is a line.

4) Read the fine print on the coupon. Yes, it says 1 per customer per day. Yes, it is only between 8 am and 1pm on Friday. No, I can't ring two through for you. No, shouting at me is not going to make me want to help you.

5) I am not going to remember your postal code. I don't care if it's the same one that the last person had, I get three hundred postal codes a day. Also, in between your two postal codes I rang through all your items, told you that the coupon automatically deducts from the highest priced item, told you your total, answered and transferred the phone and counted out your change. NO ONE'S SHORT TERM MEMORY HOLDS ALL THAT!

5a) Don't tell me that I'm "not as lucky as you" because I can't remember more than one postal code. I can and do remember more than one postal code, but not one I've only heard once.

5b) Don't get snippy with me because you feel that I'm "invading your privacy" when I ask you for your postal code. It's company policy and I do it so I don't get fired.

5c) Don't ask me why we're taking postal codes. We have signs up all over saying that we're doing a postal code survey. Read them. They're big. And red.

6) Don't get angry with me because something is on sale and therefore you can't use your coupon. Read the signs. They're there for a reason.

6b) Don't get angry with me because something is not on sale and the sign is in the wrong place. I am not responsible for every sign in a 3000 square foot store.

7) Don't call me by my first name unless you actually know me. It confuses me because I think that I've forgotten who you are. The name tag is so that you can complain or compliment to the manager, and so that the absent minded district manager can pretend to remember who we are.

8) Don't get pissy with me because I can't leave my cash register. I'll gladly call someone over for you, or I can point you in any direction you'd like.

9) Wait on hold for more than 30 seconds. Calling back doesn't make the person you're wanting to talk to free any faster.

10) Don't put coins or your card on the counter when I have my hand out reaching for it. Some of us don't have nails to pick up that stuff. Besides, you get upset with me when I put YOUR stuff on the counter.

10a) Don't get upset when I put your money or card back on the counter...especially when you're talking on your cell phone, or to someone else.

Thank you for following these simple rules of courtesy. Thank you for shopping with us and have a great day.


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