ANDRE MICHAUD???

For the two people who will know what I'm talking about above... ;)

So, I need a vote....who thinks I should do this?

A few days ago I saw a squirrel. There are many squirrels at school...some of whom don't like me. One charged down the sidewalk in my general direction on about the third day of class. :P This isn't about that squirrel though, or the one which I saw chew into a chestnut and rip a chunk out with its deceptively tiny teeth (although that one was on my mind).

I saw a squirrel burying an acorn. I've never been close to one during the fall before, so it was fascinating. It dug really damned fast for such a little guy, dropped the nut in the hole, covered it up with the dirt it had displaced, then it pushed a stick and a leaf over the spot and poinged away. I was tempted to dig it up, just to see what the squirrel would do, but I thought it would be mean, since the poor thing was probably on acorn 149340 out of 30930490 that it needed to gather.

Also I didn't really want to see the squirrel chew into my finger and rip a chunk out of it with its deceptively tiny teeth.

Preaching from my radio

A couple of days ago I was listening to the radio and there was a radio ad for Union Gospel Mission's "Feed the Hungry" campaign which ended with the voiceover saying "bless you" for helping, blah blah. Fine, no problem. But then the DJ came on and said, "And bless you for listening to JRFM. But something that's nearly as good as being blessed with eternal salvation is..." then he went on about prizes or something.

I was REALLY surprised to hear it...not offended, just surprised. Now I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks. :)

Discuss.

Quote of the Day

"Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead." --Lucille Ball.

19000

19000, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

I was my own 19000th visitor. And I learned how to capture screen shots! :)

Birthday/Graduation Party Announcement

TO: Anyone I know in real life, or can be vouched for someone I know in real life. Also, significant others and kids are DEFINITELY welcome.

WHEN AND WHERE
Thursday October 6th
7-10, dinner in Burnaby at a restaurant/pub that has an all ages seating area.
10-??, we move over to the non-all ages section for karaoke. :D

Email or comment me for details on the venue. I don't want to use evite for some random reason that I can't think of (aka, I'm lazy) but I'll probably send out evites in the next couple days.

Sorry it's a Thursday night, but that's when karaoke is. :P Miss Manners says you shouldn't ever say anything about presents even when saying they aren't necessary, but I think that's silly. Presents aren't necessary...but if you feel like you need to, please donate some money either to the Red Cross, breast cancer research, the food bank or Children's Hospital. I really have plenty of everything that I need.

"How do you explain to the FAA that we had a rabbit strike at 1,800 feet?"

This has nothing to do with anything, but the end made me giggle, so I thought I'd pass it on.

Muahaha!!!

Or: how things are going right today

I'm getting laundry done so I'll have clean underwear and socks for the week.
I'm getting ridiculously ahead of the homework and readings I need to do for next week.
I FOUND MY TEXTBOOK!!! (it was in my laundry basket.)
I feel smokin' hot again.

*kicks the dirt and looks embarrassed*

So, after a good night's sleep and a long hot shower last night with Ravensbara essential oil diffusing through my bathroom (antiviral and antidepressant. Smells like orange...kinda) I feel much better than I did last night.

Why do people do this to themselves? Why can't we hear all the good stuff people say about us when we're in that funk? (BTW, thanks Bimkins for the chat last night...everything is helping now. And thanks dearheart for the comment. It made my day.)

By the way...I still love my eyes but now I recognize my cheekbones, my hands and fingers, my breasts, how my butt looks in some of the jeans Dave helped me pick out, the curve of my back, my sillhouette lit by candles, how my waist has been curving into an hourglass and the muscles of my calves. I'm still a collection of body parts, but at least I'm outnumbering the ones I hate.

I don't feel so good right now.

Let's see if writing this will be the nice cathartic even it should be.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and feel like vomiting. I see thin, pretty girls walk down the street and watch people watch them. I see beautiful women with a few, or significantly more than a few, extra pounds, and think they're fucking gorgeous. Why can't I think about myself that way? Why do I weigh myself frantically every morning, before shower, after brushing teeth, before drinking or eating, after going to the bathroom, before putting on deodorant but after brushing my hair? Why do I need to lose every ounce of peripheral weight before I can look at the numbers? Why did I PUNCH THE WALL IN MY BATHROOM five minutes ago because the scale said more than I think it should? (hand's fine...wall's fine, just so you know.)

Why do I eat something sweet or otherwise slightly off of nutritious and feel like a beached whale in my mind? Why did I drive most of the way home almost, or totally in tears because I can't stop thinking about that half a muffin I ate, or the two regular cokes I drank? Intellectually, I know I'm attractive...unless everyone's been lying to me. But that same wonderful intellect of mine partitions my body. I don't see my fantastic...

Jesus. I can tell I'm depressed when I can't think of a single body part I like. My eyes. I like my eyes. And that's good because they're not gonna get any thinner. I've got tears running down my face while I type this. It's times like this I'm so glad I'm not a famous blogger, because I'm so fragile right now I wouldn't hear any nice comments left. I'd just read the hate mail, and dehydrate myself so that the water weight doesn't show.

Sometimes when I'm in a good mood (that sounds so trite, but it's the best I can come up with right now), I'll look at myself and think I'm totally amazingly gorgeous. I've been "up" like that for the last few weeks, telling Dave that he's got a smokin' hot girlfriend. Right now, I don't even feel like a lukewarm girlfriend.

I'm trying to decide between several options right now. Sometimes (not for a long time now) when I'm feeling horrible inside, I hurt myself outside...nothing serious like sharp objects anymore (yay, five years now? Something like that), but I don't want to do that to myself any more because it makes me feel worse. Besides, I think punching the wall qualifies me for that and uses my quota up for a week, at least.

I could get very very drunk off of what I have in my liquor cabinet. Bad idea...when I'm depressed, the first thing I want to do is have a drink. Very bad precedent to set. Luckily, the anti-fat part of my brain reminds me of all the empty calories in alcohol.

So, I guess that leaves taking a very hot shower, hoping the steam will clear out my sinuses, crying a bit more because I'm naked and feeling very gross about my body and going to bed and hoping that it's sunny tomorrow because if it's rainy, I don't know how well I'll deal with it.

So to recap. I'm a whiny little drama queen who doesn't have anything to complain about, so I make a bunch of stuff out of nothing, and cry about it to the tiny corner of the internet who reads my blatherings. Sweet.

I feel growl-y

I'm missing a text book. It's a white binder with a crapload of articles in it. GRRRRRR. It better be in my car, or sommmmmebody's gonna getta hurt real bad.

I'm still slightly ahead of things in regards to school, except for the reading I should be doing which I can't because I have no textbook for my social theory class. How irritating.

Sooooo, I'm sleepy. Not much else new. My room is looking a little frazzled what with me at school all day and not caring about tidying it up completely, but it's still in damned good shape. Most of the stuff scattered around is going to school with me tomorrow.

I snapped a belt loop on my nice plaid pants. I'm annoyed. I think they're the most expensive piece of non-club clothing I own.

Leaves are cool. I'm not having as many issues with today being the Equinox as I thought I would. I am not a happy autumn/winter person...weird since my bday and Cmas are both in those seasons. And Hallowe'en. But I'm really not a fan, and my university is already REALLY cold, and there aren't many places to walk across campus and stay dry and newsflash: VANCOUVER IS WET. I may need to start...horrors...carrying a raincoat.

But not an umbrella. Because umbrellas are for tourists.

And now before I make absolutely zero sense, I shall sign off.

Oh yeah!

Arrrrrrrrrr....

I'm soooo tired.

I had my first group presentation today and I think we did really well. We met at university at 0730 this morning so now I'm completely exhausted. Whoosh.

I'm really cranky bitchy right now. I'm tired and frustrated about my inability to argue in a reasonable manner (argue as in have a discussion politely with dissenting views). I've still got 46 weeks of school left. I'm ahead of my readings and homework, but there's still. So. Much. To do. *sigh*

*/whine*

I released a couple more books into the wild today in various places around the university. This is way more fun than just giving them away. :)

Ok, now I'm gonna get all Hermione on my homework's ass and write a bunch of stuff so I might even get most of tomorrow off.

Don't forget...

Tomorrow is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

I'm doing a scrapbook/article thing and would like to interview some people. I've already asked a few bloggers with school aged children if I can use some of their posts (thanks Sheryl!) but if there's anyone out there who wants to send me some stuff they remember about their school experiences (good, bad, ugly, etc.) or about their kids' experiences, that'd be cool. kinkygrrl1701@yahoo.com or comment. Make sure you let me know how anonymous you want to be as well.

In other news...I am the goddess of stick figures. I love a program that in nearly every class the prof at SOME point says something like, "Now pretend you're a first grader." Yessssss...something that's not a stretch. I've done more colouring and drawing in the last two weeks than I have in the last couple months.

In other, other news...I want more non-caffiene laden diet pop. I'm pretty much out of Diet Sprite and diet grapefruit. I've got Diet Coke with lime, but I need more of both others and diet tonic water or something. I'd love a DCwL, but that's not condusive to me getting to sleep before REALLY late tonight, and my schedule for tomorrow looks like this...

0530 get up
0600 leave house
0630 get to Dave's
0730 get to school

...sleep is kind of required before midnight.

Damn, I'm tired...and it's not even eight. Only 46 more weeks of school to go!!

Oh, the horror...

I've become one of THOSE people...it's not even 1030 and I'm going to bed.

The horror...

Who the crap has taken over my body?

I don't recognize me anymore. I have turned into a person who does her readings, answers all the review questions, tidies up before going to bed, cheerfully (well, kind of) gets up in the morning for class, goes to bed earlyish (grudgingly...some things haven't changed), puts all her books in her bag, prepacks her lunch and is generally insanely organized because SHE IS USING HER DAYTIMER.

What the crap?!

Well, SOMEONE likes me!

I just got my rejection letter from SFU teacher training. *snicker*

BA Announcement

BA Announcement, originally uploaded by Random Synapses.

So, what're you doing October 6th, around 0900? See above for what I'm doing. :) Anyone wanna come? Anyone? *crickets chirping* Huh. Can't say I blame you...it's my convocation and I don't really want to go. :) I'm sure it'll be fine, but SFU gets REALLY BLOODY COLD in October. I think I'll be wearing a parka under my gown.

I am losing my ever lovin' mind.

I'm taking so many courses, and they've all got similar names and similar topics...I think that I'm working on a project for one of them, and I'm not, or that we use a certain program and we're not...I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!

Schooled.

Today was my third day of school...second day of actual classes. Most of the last three days are hazy because of sleep deprivation. I'm working with about twelve hours for the past three days, plus I've got a cold. The teaching program is set up so that I'll be going through the entire year with the same group of twenty people and I've already made four friends with whom I'm in groups with for all my classes *desperately hopes no one is flaky*. Everyone seems nice and non-flaky though...so we'll see. All of the classes have been really interesting so far. The profs are all fun, and the topics (even the ones I had doubts about [Principles of Teaching? Yikes.]) have been great.

I've managed to acquire a nickname within my group...Hermione from Harry Potter, because I've been ridiculously organized, to the point of having my textbooks in class when the instructors didn't know if they were in the bookstore or not. I've somehow managed to convince everyone that I'm a crazy superachiever. Muahaha! Now I just need to keep up the facade for the next 11 months or so and I shall be the awesome. I'm hoping that I keep going that way and if everyone stays convinced, I'll feel as though I've got to keep it up or else be mocked mercilessly. One of the guys has promised to do so if I start to fall behind.

So. Classes. I'm a little overwhelmed. For next week, I've got five pages of homework and around eighty pages of readings [edit: I forgot to factor in today's classes's readings. Eses. It's now up to nine chapters plus two articles at about thirty pages each], and I haven't even attended all my classes for the first time yet. I worked it out (probably shouldn't have...sometimes there is less fear in the unknown.) and it turns out that this semester I'm taking the time and work equivilent of eight or nine full time classes at SFU. The most I've ever taken in a semester was four, and that nearly killed me.

I'm bowing out of NaNoWriMo this year. Upon reflection of time and so on, I think my time would be better spent doing school stuff. It's annoying though. I was looking through the list of clubs today, and I've seen at least three I want to join...plus I want to rush (I think that's the term) for a sorority, just because...well, I told Dave that I had no interest in joining a sorority, but there were some CUTE girls walking around wearing Greek lettered t-shirts today. Oh, and academic excellence and peer support too... La la la.

Anyway, I need to get all my readings for Monday done tonight to prevent mocking, so there's my massive update. I have no idea when I'll update next, so see you when I do. :)

It's too EARLY!!!

I've already been up for an hour. I have done this three days in a row now. I have to do this for the next 11.75 months.

GAH!!!!!

OMG.

I'm just chatting with someone I haven't talked to in a while and casually said, "I'm starting the teaching program at *university* tomorrow."

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I'M STARTING THE TEACHING PROGRAM AT *UNIVERSITY* TOMORROW!!!

*tap tap*

Testing...

We are currently broadcasting from my room. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

The Saga of The Desk

This is my desk. I love it. It is the best desk EVAR.

This is so amazing I have to share. :) So, I went to Office Depot and this desk was $249.99 and the top part sold separately for $114.99. There happened to be an undamaged clearance set out front that were marked to 50% off, then down again so that the desk was $99 and the hutch was $54.04 (*shrug* I duuno why either). So, Dave and I are wandering around, measuring other desks, sitting at them...etc. I decide, yep. I like the one that's out there. So I find the manager (a really cute redhead). She happens to be on the phone and dealing with irate customers in front of her, so I wait very patiently until she tells me that she may be a while. "No problem. I just wanted to ask you a really quick question. There are a couple pieces of furniture out front that have been discounted a couple times already. I'd like to take them tonight, and I was wondering if you could do anything for me. One's a hundred and the other's fifty." I figured maybe I'd get ten bucks off or something. I figure that's lunch out somewhere, and if you don't ask, you can't receive, right?

"How about $70 and $40?"

*mind boggles*

So instead of over $400 (including tax) they wind up being $125 with tax, and we get 10% or something back at the end of the year. Then Dave pays for it as an anniversary present, so it cost me nothing. :D

This was umm...yesterday? So today I spent around six hours cleaning and organizing around the space it'll be going. (Yes, I have a messy room. No, I didn't hire a bulldozer. Yes, next time I'm going to.) Today Dave, Jeff and I put together the desk part (read: they put together the desk while I kept out of the way, make sure they had beverages, got the parts they needed and bought them dinner.) Tomorrow the hutch! Then my computer goes downstairs on it so I can surf porn do homework without my parents distracting me.

Fortunately I have no stories that "will be funny in a week" about us putting it together. No mashed toes, no falling apart of the desk, no falling apart of the Karin, nothin'. However, because EVERYTHING in my room is going to be moved, the entire contents of my bookshelf is now on my bed, making it difficult for me to sleep there tonight. So, I shall sleep in my absent brother's room tonight, and hopefully rearrange things tomorrow so that I have a place to sleep.

Oh, gee. Look at the date.

"Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing."

So, since I can't pick entire songs worth jack, I'll just snitch a bunch of song quotes. :) Also, then I can take lines out of context, although I tried not to do that. And for those of you playing along at home, I'll give you a cookie if you can ID the songs/artists (since most of the songs have the title in the lyrics.)and the above quote without using Google (obviously it's honour system [Cat, I owe you a cookie still.]).


Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods?
Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a firey steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need.
I need a hero.

There's the man I chose.

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.
Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Wake me up inside, wake me up inside.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I’ve become.

Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am.
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you.
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do.

You take me in, no questions asked
You strip away the ugliness that surrounds me.

I wanna fall and know that love has caught me,
Safe in the arms of love.

Kiss me in sweet slow motion.

I wanna hold you til I die, 'til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides.

I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need.

I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Still feels like our first night together.
Feels like the first kiss. It’s getting better, baby.

Late at night, when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you.
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you."
I love you, too.


I guess what I'm really trying to say through other people's words is "I love you Dave, happy anniversary and thank you for three wonderful years together."

(And for everyone else, I apologize for the mushy post. I'll be more angsty or something later to make up for it.)