"At Least You're Adorable"
Apparently my night time routine is more ingrained than I thought, or else I'm more tired than I thought. Normally, I clean my ears out with a Q-tip (yes, bad, I know...nothing smaller than your elbow should go in there) while getting out the other stuff to get ready for bed. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, makeup remover (if applicable that day), pills, whatever.
I decided to skip the ears, put toothpaste on my toothbrush and only the fact that I was looking in the mirror at the time stopped me from sticking it into my ear. I was about 3 inches away.