Eyuaach!!!

Warning: this post contains visuals. Of arachnid. And lots of capitals. And a couple of F-bombs. You have been warned.


There is a huge enormous disgusting spider in my room. Seriously, it's got to be about three inches across (Thank all the powers that that's with the legs included. I think if it was just the body, I'd move my ass to Alaska.) It's currently sitting above my outside door, about six and a half feet up...just high enough so I don't feel comfortable about squashing it because ohmyfuckinggod whatifImissanditjumpsontomyface!! Or I squash it and then it falls on me?! Or I get spider guts spraying on me?! Or...oh god... I could THROW something at it but then if I miss it crawls away and it's SOMEWHERE UNDER SOMETHING IN MY ROOM!!!! There's stuff under the place it's sitting, so I can't put a chair there, and I'm sure as hell not going to CLEAN under there when there's a GIANT FUCKING SPIDER ON MY WALL!!!

And there's only one person online my ICQ list...luckily he's giving me tips. Unluckily, he's NOT COMING OVER TO SQUASH THE SPIDER FOR ME! And there's no one else awake in my house.

Ironically, I'm usually the one who does all the squishing or relocation of spiders, but in this case, I'm totally unable to do it. I think that I'm acting like such a girl because I'm tired, and because of the position of the spider in relation to everything else in my room. And because there's no one to be brave to.

I'm thinking about grabbing the insect spray and just dousing the thing until it drowns, then sleeping upstairs until the fumes have dissipated.

HEY! INTERNET!! SEND SOMEONE OVER TO MY HOUSE TO REMOVE THIS SPIDER!!